You’ve probably heard of charismatic spiritual leaders who “speak from the soul,” radiate confidence, and seem to captivate entire rooms without even preparing a script. Their presence is magnetic. Their knowledge—impressive. But what if behind that glow, there’s something darker at play? what about emotional manipulation?
Recently, something happened in my close circle that gave me a lot to reflect on. It made me see more clearly how easy it is for someone to speak of abundance, consciousness, and service—while acting in ways that quietly contradict it all.
The Charismatic Leader and the Disappointed Helper
He’s the creator of personal development “masters”—courses blending spiritual, emotional, and psychological tools aimed at helping people “unlock their potential” and, eventually, teach like he does. He hosts live talks and immersive experiences (like ice bath sessions) that attract large crowds. According to my cousin, he’s captivating: intuitive, magnetic, and so knowledgeable that he doesn’t even plan his talks—he simply “channels” what comes through.
But behind the scenes, she had been helping him on Instagram as a setter—warming up leads, engaging in DMs, guiding potential clients toward his offers, let me tell you, a work that takes a lot of time. Without pay. The only incentive? A commission if a sale happened.
A couple of days ago, he messaged her frustrated:
“There are messages unanswered for 12 hours.”
She replied honestly:
“Of those 12 hours, 8 I was asleep. I have a full-time job. And this? I’m doing voluntarily.”
His response?
“Well, Diego devotes himself to the service.”
And here’s the twist: Diego is another unpaid member of the team.
My cousin responded firmly:
“Diego is Diego. I’m me.”
And here’s the part that really struck me:
Guess what the name of one of the events she was helping him sell is?
How to unlock abundance.
Knowing Isn’t Wisdom: It’s Embodiment That Matters
That conversation stayed with me for days. Because this isn’t just about an ungrateful leader—it’s about a bigger tension we often overlook in spiritual spaces.
John speaks about presence, flow, surrender… and abundance. But he asks for unpaid labor, uses emotional pressure, and expects devotion without mutual respect.
It reminded me of a quote from The Peaceful Warrior (movie that I’ve always loved):
“Knowing is not the same as wisdom. Wisdom is doing it.”
It’s not about the words you say or the knowledge you carry—it’s about whether your actions match your message.
When Spiritual Language Becomes a Tool for Control
Words like “service,” “alignment,” and “energy” are beautiful concepts. But in the wrong context, they can be used to blur boundaries and manipulate.
Saying “Diego devotes himself to the service” may sound spiritual, but it’s a subtle guilt tactic. It implies: If you were truly conscious, you’d sacrifice more. It’s comparison disguised as inspiration.
And this happens more often than we think—especially when leaders use elevated language to justify overwork, loyalty, or self-erasure from others.
Charisma Isn’t the Same as Integrity
We often confuse charm with depth. Some people are deeply magnetic—they can speak with ease, stir emotions, and command attention. But that doesn’t mean they’re anchored in ethics or empathy.
In fact, many narcissistic or controlling personalities thrive in spiritual spaces because they know how to perform the role of the “awake” person.
A Broader Reflection: Sacred Teachings vs Everyday Practice
My mind also went to India—the birthplace of profound spiritual traditions: Hinduism, Buddhism, Yoga. These teachings emphasize compassion, unity, humility.
And yet, modern Indian society struggles with inequality, corruption, systemic injustice. How can these exist side by side?
Of course, it’s complex. But part of the answer may be that
even the most sacred teachings can be empty if you just “wear” them.
Having the words is not enough. Having the rituals is not enough. The meaning lives in how we apply them, especially when it costs us something.
Discernment Is the New Protection
As spirituality becomes more mainstream, discernment becomes more essential.
Here are some gentle questions I ask myself around any leader, healer, or guide:
- Do their actions align with their message? Are they consistent?
- Do I feel empowered in their presence—or subtly diminished?
- Are they willing to hear “no” without making me feel guilty?
I don’t share this to point fingers. I share it because I’ve seen how easily we can be drawn to people who sound conscious, but aren’t.
This story left me with more questions than answers—mainly about how I choose who to learn from, and what I allow in the name of “growth.”
What does discernment look like for you these days?
If this resonated, I’d love to hear your own reflections or moments where things didn’t quite align. Let’s keep the conversation honest.